Philippians 2:1-4; Prayer of St. Francis
Chancing One’s Arm
On display in St. Patrick’s cathedral in Dublin, Ireland hangs an ancient door with a curious, rectangular opening hacked in the center. The door tells of a remarkable story. In 1492, two Irish families, the Butlers of Ormonde and the FitzGeralds of Kildare, were in the midst of a bitter feud over which family should hold the position of Lord Deputy. The tension grew to violent fighting between the two families. Realizing the violence was getting out of control, the Butlers took refuge in a room of St. Patrick’s cathedral, bolting themselves in.
As the siege wore on, the Earl of Kildare concluded that the feuding was simply foolish. Here were two families worshiping the same God, in the same church, living in the same country, trying to kill each other. Finally, the FitzGeralds spoke to them from outside the Cathedral and asked them to come out and make peace.
But afraid they would be slaughtered, the Butlers refused. As a gesture of good faith, the head of the Kildare family, Gerald FitzGerald, ordered that a hole be cut in the door. He then thrust his arm through the door and offered his hand in peace to those on the other side. Upon seeing that FitzGerald was willing to risk his arm by putting it through the door, the Butlers reasoned that he was serious about peace.
They shook hands through the hole. The door was opened and the two men embraced, thus ending the family feud. From FitzGerald’s noble gesture came the expression “chancing one’s arm” and the door in the Cathedral became the “Door of Reconciliation”.
A Year of Travesty
I love that story. We have certainly had a hard year—in the world—and at Southminster. A truly hard year of battle after battle—two political and economical families at war. It is hard to take it all in. If it were the virus alone, the illness and the deaths—that would have been plenty to deal with. But then there were the closures and the jobs lost. The fires here…so close…and the smoke. The protests on our streets—over 150 days. The insurrection in Washington. The ice storms and power outages. So many losses and a deep yearning for in-person connection.
This family dispute of ours has increased the racial divide in our country. The dramatically higher death rates for Black and Brown people. The life expectancy overall dropped by a full year in the US. As if that was not dramatic enough—even more eye opening is that it dropped by 3 years for Black Americans. And as we all know, eight people were murdered this past week by a gunman who targeted women of Asian descent. This underscores that the family feud is far from over in America and has become a dangerous trend since the start of the pandemic: growing numbers of threats and violent acts targeting non-dominant groups and individuals.
A Year of Blessings Too
It has been a hard year. But there have also been blessings found in this last year too. A calmer, slower pace. Grace granted and grace received. Learning that haircuts have, perhaps, been overrated. And remembering how important family and friendship and community are to us. A year and some months ago, there was a family feud that erupted even at Southminster. But this year has given clarity of purpose and direction. A blessing. Last September, the church matched dollar for dollar the money the Southminster Foundation raised for fire relief in our State. You all were very generous and money was well used. And even though we have seen some staff leave, we have been blessed with new and old staff that have provided energy, supported us through all the changes and have given us a sense of creativity, stability and hope.
This pandemic leaves us with a great deal to hold—but perhaps one of its blessings is that the Southminster congregation is stronger now than in pre-pandemic days. We have given evidence and discovered meaning in “chancing one’s arm”—becoming vulnerable to each other in a way that was scary at times but brought us deeper and closer. We have discovered that no matter what family feuds surround us, in our world or in our community, togetherness is always better.
Imagining a New Normal
Yes, those who are privileged and those who are struggling have lived different lives through this pandemic. We will need to work like we never have before to build bridges and risk all that we are to become ONE family. But like the FitzGeralds and the Butlers learned, together we can and we will imagine a new normal with more justice and more compassion.
And to Lisa, Amanda, Jason and Dan—thank you for being a supportive colleague. You have exemplified grit and tenacity and compassion for us all. Thank you for all that you do in our midst. You have shown us that togetherness is better and have encouraged us to be our better selves. I hope you feel encouraged by us. Thank you for being a channel of peace to our community.
A-men.